No experience can exactly match our imagined expectation. It is just not
possible. The experience will either fall short or exceed our
expectations. When it falls short, we get disappointed and when it exceeds
our expectations, we feel happy. One can say that as your expectations
reduce, your happiness increases. What would happen if our expectations
drop to zero? Every moment would be full of joy and wonder.
Disappointment would become impossible.
First lets understand why an experience can never match an imagined expectation. Every experience is new and fresh. Things are constantly changing all the time. Our imagination is always made up of the old. You can only imagine what you already know. You can mix and match it in new ways but its always of the old. An experience is a much bigger phenomenon than our imagination.
To test this out, imagine taking a sip of cold water. Be as creative with your imagination as possible. Now, take the actual sip of water. Be present with the entire experience. Now note how different it actually feels versus how you had imagined it.
The question that arises now is not how to stop expecting. The right question to ask is ‘Is expecting even required?’ If you truly see the silliness of constantly imagining and expecting things, would you continue doing it? Expecting things is as silly as trying to swim in your wedding dress. You don’t have to stop yourself from doing it, just seeing the silliness is enough. It dissolves on its own.
The only reason you are unhappy at any given moment is that you are expecting things to be different than what is. It is not the situation, people or circumstances that create our misery. It is our expectation of them that does. What would happen if all your expectations dissolved and you start experiencing life moment by moment without any resistance?
Uncaused happiness.